Dad

There this man who I have loved all my life. Although I no longer know him as the person I remember him to be, I still love him.  This man was the first man I knew who truly loved me.  It saddens me greatly to know he is no longer that man. This man is…

Enough Now

When there’s no way to make the pain go away, what do you do?  When you keep trying and fighting with no success…what do you do?  When you have no one, where do you go?  Where are the answers when you need them?  Where are the people you rely on the most when you need…

I am not crazy…I’m emotional!

As some of you may know, recently, well all my life, I’ve struggled with depression, but more so lately with serious life changing events.  It was brought to my attention years ago with my first husband that there’s something called Borderline Personality Disorder or BPD. When presented with the internet print out of what he thought…

Memories

Memories… Memories…Some say they are good, others say they are bad. Memories have the potential to make us smile or laugh, but also have the power to destroy our hearts time and time again. Memories have of course brought me happiness; yet it seems they’ve brought more sadness if I am actually honest. As I…

Family?

All my life I’ve had a less than “normal” family.  Parents divorced when I was in kindergarten, dad remarried a year or so later, the biological “mother” messed around with married guy after married guy; where one relationship lasted approximately four years with the acquiring of a home, jewelry, and usually an automobile.  Dad remained Dad…

2017…too late for resolutions?

2016 was an interesting year!  Sold my home, moved to IL, quickly moved back to IA.  Met and married an amazing man and nearly let him go multiple times by 2017’s arrival.  Had a short staycation in the hospital for attempted overdose before ringing in the new year.  However, the funk I left 2016 with,…

Runaway

I am not me! My whole life I’ve tried so hard to please other people, yet I still fall short. I take care of others before taking care of myself. I’ve lost track of what it’s like to be fit and healthy. I’ve lost track of what it’s like to be happy. I’ve lost track…