Runaway

I am not me!

My whole life I’ve tried so hard to please other people, yet I still fall short.

I take care of others before taking care of myself.

I’ve lost track of what it’s like to be fit and healthy.

I’ve lost track of what it’s like to be happy.

I’ve lost track of where the years have gone, why time has passed by so quickly, yet I feel I’ve gone no where, done nothing.

Today, I have reached that point where I just don’t care any more.

I feel sick nearly every day.

I feel exhausted all the time.

I feel I have nothing left to give, to you, to myself, to the world.

Pain runs through my body, causing me distress.

Financial instability overwhelms my life daily, with no solution in sight.

I no longer do the things I love.

I have almost given up.

I have almost lost the urge to even try.

I need to get away from everything, but have nowhere to go.

I need to figure out my life, but lack guidance to do so.

I want things to be better, not easier, but just a little less chaotic,

Yet it doesn’t seem to be the way life works for me.

I am trying, yet I am failing miserably.

Underutilized, stretched too thin,

Trying, trying, trying, but I cannot stay afloat.

The confusion that lies within me is that of endless space.

Deep down I think I know, but yet I remain.

In this slump,

In this hurt,

In this fog and confusion,

I will never find my way out.

To runaway would be to take a break,

To catch my breath,

To think,

To explore,

To dream.

But I can’t even do that.

To runaway would be to satisfy myself,

No one else,

Perhaps even hurt others, but to runaway, would be to find myself.

I cannot find myself anymore.

I am not who I was, nor who I should be.

I am not me!

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One thought on “Runaway

  1. Don’t run away. It’s harder to stay where you are and work on your issues, but it you do, you won’t want to run away from your life as much.

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